2014 Update

Well, a lot has happened.

Weight-wise, I'm back up to new heights of fat-ness.  Probably heavier than I've ever been.  I lumber.  My upper arms are ripply sausages.  My legs have moved into fat lady territory, they don't have any regular leg shape to them any more.  And my midsection is just thick and stout, there is no other way to describe it.  Just big, big all over. 

I think I went through menopause because if being fat wasn't enough, my face has taken on the appearance of a crone.  And my neck  . . . lets just not talk about my neck.

But my health  . . . my always great health . . .  is no more.  Back in December I was diagnosed with Stage III colon cancer.  Surgery in January.  We think they got all the tumor but one lymph node was positive for cancer so I've been on a regimen of oral chemotherapy for the last six months.  I call it Chemo-Lite, because I haven't lost my hair and it doesn't make me sick to my stomach.  It does, however, cause neuropathy in my hands and feet (feels sort of like dull shards of glass in your hands, weird) and makes my eyes red and itchy, like an allergy attack.  And I'm not very peppy. Usually I'm okay but sometimes I get pretty tired.  For the past few months, the only exercise I've been getting is walking my dogs, usually for about 45 minutes.

I try to act like I'm normal but I'm really not.  In fact, I've been off of work for almost two months on the orders of my doctor(s) and I can't go back until at least mid-September.  I don't miss work, but I do miss the people I work with.  But my 8-year-old and I have had a great summer together.  She was happy not to have to go to summer program and we had some good times.  She's back in school now, but I can pick her up at the dismissal bell and she doesn't have to go to after school program, which she loves. 

So, I can do pretty well eating-wise for a while but I always, always, always blow it.  I couldn't even sleep well last night due to all the butter pecan ice cream I had eaten forming an immovable lump in my stomach.  Ugh.  And now that I'm older, I've noticed that my body is much less tolerant of my poor eating habits.  I won't go into detail, but my body lets me know in unpleasant ways when I've been hitting the junk food too hard.  And I'm terrified of tipping over into Type II diabetes.  Which is completely avoidable, if I could get my eating act together.

Must. Do. Better.

I always felt that if I could get some down time, just some time to breathe, that I could get my eating on track.  But I've had several weeks of down time and no, I haven't gotten my eating on track.  At least not for any significant amount of time. 

There is no magic bullet!  There is nothing for me to do but to just do it, to quote Nike.  Just don't eat the junk. Actually, just don't do it is probably more appropriate in my particular situation.

So, I'm back with my First World Problems and Middle-Aged-Fat-Lady angst.  More to follow!