Dangerous Fishing

More good news:  down another pound, to 166.6.  A total of 11.8 pounds lost so far.  The good thing about weight watchers as opposed to being abstinent in OA is that most things are okay to eat and I don't have to be doctrinaire about sugar and white flour, which is very hard to do.  (I love the word doctrinaire and use it whenever I have a chance).  However, the things with white flour and sugar have a ton of points so I tend to avoid them anyway.  And I'm finding that I'm eating vegetables and fruit on a more regular basis as well.

Though, I've often wondered if I could actually eat the recommended "servings" of everything ww says I should eat every day and still stay within my point range.  The three dairy servings, the five fruit and vegetable servings, the three healthy oil servings--I always mean to sit down and actually figure it out but I never get around to it.  Maybe this weekend . . .

So I'm fortunate that I don't hate to exercise.  But I really don't like the gym.  I've only had a couple of gym memberships in my entire life (I have a $10 a month Planet Fitness membership right now but I gave the card to my daughter to use and they took her picture for the ID so I guess it's her membership now).   But in a non Planet Fitness style gym, I always feel awkward and ill at ease.  The machines are great, but having to drive there, change, wait your turn for a machine, adjust the weight settings, deal with grunting guys lifting weights, walk around a million mirrors, and pay for the privilege--it just seems extraneous and inefficient to me.  So I've always exercised either outside (walking, hiking, backpacking) or at my house.

Not enough room to exercise at home?  HA!, I say.  Sure, if you want a whole Nautilus machine set up at home there may not be enough room, but I manage to do my Bar Method DVDs at home in what I call my exercise slot, pictured here:

The Exercise Slot:  mat, barbells, ball, stretching strap, chair for leg work, and fan.

Other than the initial investment in barbells, mat, DVD and ball, it's free, and I don't have to rearrange the family room to do it other than shoving the coffee table a few inches over and getting a dining room chair from a few feet away.  It's efficient, I don't have to drive anywhere, I don't have to change into special exercise clothing if I don't want to, and I can do it at a moment's notice.  It's great.  And when I need more cardio, I fortunately live in a mild enough climate to where I can do that outside, in my neighborhood, a majority of the time.

Good news:  my youngest daughters birthday party is tomorrow (her actual 7th birthday is next week).  My dad is coming down for the party and we're going to go visit his brother, my uncle, in El Paso on Monday.  My husband made it home safely from his business trip.  Also, I'm really enjoying the new car.  I used the heated seats last night for the first time.  Sweet.

In the amusing news:  I never knew a kids fishing game could be hazardous.  Last night my youngest daughters school had their Fall Festival.  The kids dress up in costumes and each class hosts a game in their classroom for the kids to play--ring toss, pumpkin bowling, car racing, things like that.  Each game costs one ticket, or 25 cents, and the kids get candy or a novelty toy as a prize for playing.  Well, her class had a fishing game, which I agreed to work.  I sat behind a wooden barrier painted to look like the ocean with a huge box of candy and toys next to me, and kids would cast a "fishing pole" over the barrier to "fish" for prizes.  The fishing poles were wooden sticks tied with dangling string to which was attached a plastic clip, to which I was to attach a piece of candy.  Simple, right? 

The problem was, some of the kids were pretty zealous in their casting technique and the plastic clips were dangerous weapons as they whipped over the barrier and swung around madly.  I spent most of the evening cringing behind the barrier, trying to dodge the plastic clips (I took MANY direct hits to the head and shoulders), then scramble to attach candy before the pole was yanked violently upwards and over the barrier, creating yet another dangerous scenario as the now heavily-laden clip careened up and over the wall.  It was terrifying!  We had several broken strings, and one kid jerked the pole so hard the wooden dowel actually snapped in two.  Fortunately, we had an extra. 

We had so much candy and stuff that we had to put it in little bags, so we had many repeat customers as we were giving away a pretty good haul compared to the rest of the classrooms.  So we (my husband and I, and the couple of other parents who helped) worked steadily.  I ended up with a sore back, but at least it wasn't like last year when we worked pumpkin bowling, which was exhasting as we were running around madly retreiving errant pumpkins and setting up glow-in-the-dark bowling pins ad infinitum.  Still, it was fun, and it always feels good to volunteer at the school.  It's a nice community there, though everyone but us is RICH (huge exaggeration, there are plenty of "middle income" folks there, but no one is poor).

In the tired news:  youngest had a bad dream so she and I have been up since four.  I probably won't have the highest energy day today.  Oh well . . .

The Core of Fatigue

What a terrible weekend, eating wise.  Went way over daily points every day.  I don't know what happened.  I did get very fatigued.  For some reason, sometimes exercise doesn't invigorate me, it exhausts me, and that's what happened both days this weekend. I feel this deep core of fatigue that carries into my limbs and doing anything is incredibly hard.  I really hate when this happens.  I reel around, trying to get my tasks done, in a fog of tiredness.  It's hard to explain.  Right now, just typing this is hard, and my eyes feel like they're about to close, but i can't go to bed yet.  It's too early.  And I've got a full, busy week of work ahead of me.

Burnout?  Diet fatigue in addition to physical fatigue? 

It was actually not a bad weekend, I climbed A Mountain yesterday and did housework, and did a hard Bar Method DVD today.  Taught Sunday School, was a chalice bearer at church.  Went into work for a couple of hours, nothing taxing.  Can't even begin to figure out why I'm so exhausted. 

I've struggled with fatigue since having my third child at the age of 43. I think the middle-aged pregnancy sucked the life right out of me.  Sometimes its worse than other times.  Right now it's been bad for the past few weeks.  Just worn out, most of the time.  I miss feeling good.  I miss being invigorated by exercise.

Waa, waa.  Got to go do the dishes and fold laundry and oversee the bath. 

yawn . . . .

News from the Scale

News from the scale--down a pound!  I've lost 10.8 pounds, I'm 166.6 according to the inaccurate scale.  However, now the hard work really begins.  The "honeymoon" of fast weight loss is probably over.  I feel wonderfully svelte (thighs not rubbing!  no lumbering!  clothes less tight!  exercise is easier!) but I'm actually still significantly overweight, and I'm going to have to stick to slow (and I hope steady) progress through the 160's, 150's, 140's and finally down to the goal of 138.  Which is still technically overweight for my height.  It's going to take months . . . months of monotony.  I will just have to stay with it as best I can.

Weight loss is hard.  But so is being heavy.  Everything is always a trade-off. 

Good news:  I got a car!  It's a used 2012 Volkswagen CC and I like it a lot.  I'd been looking at these on-line but they were all far out of town and the shipping fee to get them here would have been significant, up in the $700-800  range.  But there was one here locally, it was reasonably priced, I got a good rate car loan so I went for it.  I still feel silly driving it, it's so nice, and pretty, but I think I'll be glad I have it and now I can hand down my Taurus, which is still in excellent condition, to whichever adult child needs it first.  Probably my daughter.  Her wedding is two months away and they want to start their family immediately and I think the Taurus will be an excellent family car for them.  So I kept it and didn't trade it in.

Here also is a picture of my wonderful 50 socks my friend Carol gave me for my birthday.  I love my 50 socks.

Hungry

I’ve been so hungry all week but I’ve been using all my points (plus some) every day.  I’d have thought that after four weeks on weight watchers I’d have adjusted to the reduced amount of food, but apparently not.  I’m HUNGRY--pretty much most of the time.  I’m hungry except when I’m actually eating.  I was so hungry last night that I ate an entire avocado with my salad.  I think an entire avocado is 10 points.  Remember, I only get 26 for a whole day.  But even after eating an entire fat-laden avocado I was still hungry.

In the good news, however, I lost 3 additional pounds!  I was down to 167.6 at weekly weigh-in this morning.  It was funny—the weight watchers web site scolded me for losing weight faster than the recommended rate and warned me of a host of problems that could occur from rapid weight loss.  I found it amusing.  The web site also informed me that I had met an important milestone of losing 5% of my starting body weight.  I honestly think it was the backpack.  It just burns a ton of calories walking uphill carrying a pack, and sleeping outside in the chilly air. 

Still, good news on the weight loss front, though a pound or so a week is probably a better rate at which to lose. 

Evidence of Arthritis!

I found out why my knees make a horrible crunching sound.  And hurt.  Had a knee X-ray last week and the doctor's office called to tell me the X-ray had shown "evidence of arthritis behind the kneecap".  When I asked what I needed to do, they said nothing.

I probably should do something, but I don't know what.  I know losing weight will help. 

I was a runner (more like a jogger, never very fast or far) in my twenties, and people used to tell me I'd pay for it when I got older. 

Interesting.

Reset

There is much to report!  My 50th birthday was wonderful.  My dad, husband, 3 kids and I went out to a very nice restaurant for a steak dinner.  I had some sticker shock when I saw the bill, but my dad so graciously contributed and it was really worth it.  Interestingly, even though it was my birthday and I had a lovely dinner of 6 ounce filet, baked potato, salad and two glasses of wine, I didn't go overboard all day like I usually do on my birthday.  In fact, I was so full after dinner that just a bite of my son's really excellent cheesecake sufficed.  Between the great Birthday Eve event hosted by my kids and then this fancy dinner, it was a great birthday.

Of course I exceeded my points on both days, but lo and behold, I was able to get back on the plan and I did a lot of exercise the next few days to make up for it, as well.

But the great news is that I GOT TO GO BACKPACKING!  Wonderful friend Carol stayed overnight with our six-year-old so my husband and I could go on an overnight backpack to the Gila wilderness.  We hiked about four miles up Railroad Canyon to Holden Saddle where we set up camp.  We took one of our dogs and had a wonderful time.  Here I am on the trail with the dog. 

There wasn't a ton of fall color but there was enough to be pretty, and of course, once we got up to 8500 feet or so, there were aspens, turning gold in the cool fall air.  They were really tall aspens, as you can see:

WE set up camp at a grassy meadow known as Holden's Saddle, which looked quite lovely, with wildflowers and swaying tall grass, but the ground was crisscrossed with burrowing animal tracks so we had to hunt to find a decent camping spot.  Still, it was quite cozy and comfortable, and, as usual, it was like a "reset" button for me.  Something about getting out in the wilderness is just really beneficial.







On the weight loss front, despite eating a lot last Friday and Saturday, I was down a pound and some change on my weigh-in-day.  Still haven't dropped out of the 170s, alas.  Maybe this week?  Though I'm expecting my weight loss will slow now that I've been on the WW for four weeks.

Too bad we attach so much emotion and angst to weight loss.  It's simple arithmetic.  If I'm 40 pounds overweight, its because I have 140,000 extra calories (40 pounds times 3500 calories in a pound) which I just need to chip away at over time.  But food is life, and nourishment, and love, and a host of other pleasant things, and unfortunately, there is a lot more to it than just eat less.  It takes a total paradigm shift and just a day or two off the wagon is often enough to break the good pathway and send me right back into overeating.

Stay tuned.