Activation

A hard evening.  Want to do nothing more than eat sweets.  Exhausted, I am literally staggering around the house doing my chores.  My six-year-old had a nightmare and (as usual) couldn 't go back to sleep so I was up for a couple of hours with her in the middle of the night.  (I grew up with test patterns after midnight, so having a full range of children's programming on at 3 am still seems weird to me).  Weary.

I have this great book called Fight Fat after Forty, which contains a very sensible approach to weight loss (but does not address any emotional aspects of eating), and the author notes that many middle-aged women overeat in the evening purely for what she calls "activation", which essentially means keeping yourself awake.  Those of us who work full time, have children, houses, pets, etc., do go around in sort of a state of stressed-out exhaustion much of the time.  I kow I have stuffed food in my mouth just to keep going in the evenings, plenty of times.  I think tonight is one of those nights.  I'm still struggling, but I got myself a small bowl of raisins and for now, that seems to be enough.

New Car Craziness continues.  I had a car dealership in Virginia ready to load a 2009 Subaru Legacy station wagon onto a truck today and ship it to Albuquerque so I could buy it.  It was really nice, it was a fantastic price, low miles, lots of safety features, AWD, cargo area, etc.  But I don't need it.  My car is FINE.  We could get by with one car if we had to.  It's ridiculous. 

I think what is happening is that for years, I said I would buy a car I really wanted for my 50th birthday, and the 50th birthday is drawing near so I'm fixated on getting a car.  However, I have apologized to my husband (who has been mercilessly jerked around throughout this whole car craziness) and I have vowed to stop looking at used car websites immediately.  Cold turkey!

Gobble, gobble, gobble . . .