I didn't get a Buick

I decided I wanted a Buick.  I love big boat-ish American cars.  I love their floaty ride and overall comfort.  The silence of the well-appointed cabin.  The good crash-test ratings. Yes, I like old-lady cars. And I’m not going to apologize for it, though I am often mocked for my preference.

Being close to turning 50, and wanting to treat myself, I decided I wanted a different car.  After months of research, I decided I liked the Buick LaCrosse.  New LaCrosses are way, way out of my price range, so I settled on ones in the 2008-2009 range.  They look good and provide the floaty-boaty ride and spacious interior I like so much. 

After much searching, I found one that was reasonably priced, a 2009, rich chocolate brown, 38K miles, heated leather seats, pretty much loaded (for its vintage) except missing a sunroof and parking sensors,  got financing at a really good rate, and was ready to buy it.  I had my insurance in place.  I had my oldest daughter to ride the 250 miles with me to the dealership where the Buick was waiting, just waiting, for me to come and get it.  I had the day off (it was a Friday) to make the long drive up, actually purchase the car, and drive all the way back. 

But I couldn’t do it. 

All I could think about was the payment.  I haven’t had a car payment in three years.  The payment was going to be around $370 a month, with 80 bucks extra a month for insurance, for a total of $450 a month coming out of the budget.  I knew it was going to hurt.

I was getting panicky.  I drove about 25 miles up the interstate to go get the car, and pulled off.  I called my husband.  I called my BFF.  I looked for signs.  None were forthcoming.  Husband said to get the car because I really wanted it.  And it was a good deal.  And he was tired of my new-car fever.  BFF said no, don’t get the car, there is nothing wrong with the one you have. 

I thought about the money, and how the 2009 Buick, except for a much more stylish front end/grille and nicer engine, and a few more little luxury items, was really not that much different in terms of appearance and amenities than my current, paid-for 2005 Ford Taurus.   

As we sat at the deserted interstate exit ramp, my daughter flipped a coin.  Three times in a row, it came up heads.  I had called tails.  This was not actually a good indicator because earlier, when my husband had flipped a coin for me, it came up tails, which I had called, three times in a row.  Yes, lets make large many thousands of dollar decisions based on coin flips.

I got back on the interstate and drove another 25 miles or so, and pulled off at a little town and stopped at a convenience store for beverages.  As a last resort, my daughter called her fiancé.  He said not to get it. He said buying a car should be a happy event, not one I felt panicky about.  If I had so many doubts, I shouldn’t get the car.

And this was from someone I was going to give my 2005 Taurus to!  Because my daughter and her fiance’s car is on its very last wobbly legs.

Good buy.  $16,500 car loan.  Big kid’s car dying.  My car is paid for.  My car only has 80,000 miles.  My car is paid for.  My car is paid for.  My car is paid for.  My car is actually my car, not the banks. 

Coke in hand, I got back in my car and drove to the interstate entrance ramps.  Left, I would go north and drive another 200 miles to get the Buick.  Right, I would go south, and back home.

I turned right.

I drove back home.  Well, to a restaurant where I had a mojito and some chips and guacamole, actually.  Then went for coffee with my BFF, then home.  In the same old 2005 Taurus I’ve had for almost six years. 

But then I felt sorry for myself because I couldn’t comfortably afford and thus wasn’t going to get a three-year-old used Buick that I wanted and used it as an excuse to eat.  All weekend long.  Probably added another .5 pound (at least!) to my lumbering frame.

Having a new (used) car isn’t going to keep me from eating, nor is it going to solve anything.  It would be an albatross sitting in my garage.  The excitement of researching and finding and test driving the car was a welcome distraction from the tedium of life.  But $450 a month would get tedious real quick, too.

But boy, did I ever want that Buick!  This is the Buick, the actual one I was going to get.